Smiles Everyone Smiles!!

My opinion and approach to bedwetting has changed after reading this article, written by a grown up, former bed wetter. What is my new approach?

Say nothing. Do nothing. Smile more.

I'm not going to talk about the bedwetting. I'm not going to show any sign of frustration at having to change sheets all the time. I'm going to do what needs to be done in secret and in silence and just pile the love on my boy.

When Motor Mouth grows up, I want him to feel like it was okay to reach his dry night milestones in his own time. I want Motor Mouth to know he was loved and supported by both of his parents and we are a safe place. So, from here on out, I'm going to smile, smile, smile!!

It's Early in the Night

Okay, so FINALLY, I'm working with Motor Mouth on the dry nights again. I put the 'puppy training pad' down on the bed and had him sleep butt naked. Motor Mouth, upon realizing he was sleeping without a pull-up or any clothing said, "Oh, I didn't know I was sleeping like daddy!"

I put the kids to bed at 9:00 pm. At about 11:30, Motor Mouth woke up and said he had to go to the bathroom. I told him to put on a pull-up and went to remove the wet pad and sheets. 

Only...They weren't wet!!! 

He woke up all on his own to go pee in the potty!!

Now, I don't know if this is working for sure or not. It is only night 1. I had Motor Mouth go back to bed commando. No pull-up for my boy, tonight!!

NADA

That's nada, as in nothing

(Not as in National Automobile Dealers Association) 

I've done nothing about furthering Motor Mouth's potty training habits. His sheets needed to be changed but I never remembered, so he slept with his little sister (for a week...yes, it was like that). Then we had company staying in his room for 2 1/2 weeks so he had to share a bed with his sister, again. And now, I just need to going on this dry night thing. 

Motor Mouth has a friend coming to stay here in June. That's 2 months away. Wouldn't it be amazingly wonderful if he was having dry nights by then?

I'm Exhausted

I've had to stay up later so I can take Motor Mouth to the bathroom another time. And then he wakes me up twice in the night to tell me he wet his bed. The second time, he gets a pullup. Add to that my peri menopausal night sweats and disturbed sleep and I am wiped!! Not good for anything. 

Day One of Seven

Alright. So I wanted to wait for the right timing, to enable Motor Mouth to have maximum success. No stress during the day. Not over tired. Room at the right temperature (his room gets really cold in the winter), sleeping in his bed, not with his little sister.

I have restricted both kids' liquid intake. They only get milk in the morning. If they get apple juice or something else, like pop, it is with lunch. After lunch, all they get is water. Then, at bedtime, they get a tiny bit of water and then go potty.

I've been monitoring Motor Mouth's bowel movements, to see if they are regular. As much as possible, I've been ensuring the kids are getting more fiber in their diet, which helps with bowel movement regularity. Which, in turn, is important 

Tonight was the night!!

Motor Mouth went to bed with just underwear on. No pullup. I laid him on his bed with a waterproof pad under him. 

Two hours later, I woke Motor Mouth up to go potty. He was rolled off the pad and was - wet. I took him to the bathroom. He thought he was dry. He was wet!! I changed him into a different pair of underwear, moved the pad over, and put him back to bed.

I asked Motor Mouth to wake me up if he wets his bed again. He did. I tossed the wet pad, put him in a pullup, and hugged my pillow. I told him to tell me in the morning if his pullup was wet. It was. Some people are full of crap. Apparently, my child is full of urine!!

Why does he have so much pee at night? He gets a small cup at dinner and even less at bedtime. He is peeing waaaaaaaay more than that!

More Strategic Thoughts

I've been thinking that maybe Motor Mouth wearing pullups at night is too thick. Maybe we are going the wrong way. Maybe we need to put him in underwear with a waterproof padding under him. That way, he is aware when he is wet and can wake up. It is the same thought process as the bedwetting alarm, I think. He wets and feels it so then he gets conditioned to know what it feels like to wet. His body will be more likely to wake him up before he wets. That's the premise of the alarm, if I read correctly.

Of course, we are still:

- restricting fluids before bedtime

- having him potty twice before bed

- putting him to bed earlier (so he is not as tired when he falls asleep)

- waking him up when we go to bed to go potty

- checking to see if he is constipated

- adding more fiber to his diet.

I think I am going to look for those pads this weekend. I am not sure if I am going to get them at a pet store or the drug store. I know it's the same thing - my grandmother had them and so did our puppy. Just have to figure out where it is cheaper.

More Strategies

I'm reading up on strategies on the Internet. I found this bed wetting article on WebMD and found it to be very neutral and informative. 

We've stopped giving milk at bedtime. We had already reduced the amount of milk from a full sippy cup, to barely the bottom of the cup. Now, it is water in the cup. We don't usually have pop in our house. Now, if we have some, we are even less inclined to let the kids have it with dinner. 

Even though the peer competition worked for getting Motor Mouth potty trained in the first place, it is not working with nighttime dryness. So, we have abandoned the negative comments and are back to positive reinforcement.

I will not give my child medication to stop bedwetting. There has to be another way. Ditto bed wetting alarms. There has to be another way. Like I said in a previous post, kids have been bed wetting for centuries. Bedwetting alarms is relatively new. Surely, there has to be another way.

Ted Haggard was on the Oprah Show and talked about bedwetting as a kid. It was likely related to him being molested. It made me think. I am with the kids 24/7. The only time I am not with them, they are in group settings. I can assure you I am not molesting my kids, so we are ruling this one out.

I have a calendar and am asking Motor Mouth to inform me each time he has a bowel movement. I'm also charting his wet and dry nights. Okay. I'm charting his wet nights as there are no dry nights. 

Last night, I had Motor Mouth pee in the potty twice before bedtime. He still wet. 

Next steps:

1. Get Motor Mouth sleeping by 9 pm so I can wake him up to go potty around 11 or 12 when I go to bed.

2. Stop the pull-ups at bedtime. Maybe he can't feel it being wet because of the bulk of the pull up. If he were in underwear, he would feel himself wetting.

3. Set the alarm for 2 am to take him to the potty.

Are you kidding me?

I am reading 'Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness: A Practical Guide for Parents of Children with Bedwetting", by Renee Mercer, CPNP.

There are diagrams explaining how the body works. There is some practical advice, like don't give your child milk at night, because the tryptophan causes your child to sleep sounder making it harder for him to wake up to urinate.

But the book is a 117-page ad for the author's bedwetting alarms. The alarms recommended range from $70 - $130. These are not alarm clocks that wake you up a couple times at night to remind the child to void. These are devices that can be either built into special underwear or attached to regular underwear. Or they can be a pad under the child that senses when wet. They have an alarm that sounds when the child wets. The idea is to condition the child (like Pavlov's dogs) to awaken before wetting.

Is it really a big ad for the author's bedwetting alarms? And I quote: "Because bedwetting alarms offer the most effective permanent treatment for bedwetting, the rest of this book will discuss their proper use." This statement comes on page 35 of a 117 page book. So, children through the ages had no other alternatives? 

Surely, there has to be another answer. 

No Dry Nights

Motor Mouth is 5

He will be 6 in a couple of months

Motor Mouth was potty trained at age 3

Closer to age 4, actually.

We tried everything the books tell you to do to potty train Motor Mouth. We tried the phone calls to important people, treats, charts with stickers, positive reinforcement, etc... We did it all. 

Motor Mouth finally gave up diapers when his friend came to spend a few nights when his parents were out-of-town on business trips. We goaded Motor Mouth into it. "Kai Kai is potty trained. HE's a BIG BOY, not a BA-BY, like you are." It's wrong. It goes against every potty training book. Against every parenting book. But it worked for us and it worked for Motor Mouth. He never looked back.

Except for nighttime dryness. Motor Mouth can NOT stay dry all night, every night. Maybe once a week, Motor Mouth remains dry at night. Like I said, he is almost 6!!

It is worse now, because Mini Me, who is Motor Mouth's baby sister, is fully potty trained. She is 2 going on 3 and stays dry during the night in panties. Motor Mouth really wants to wear underwear to bed. It bothers him. We are playing it off as not a big deal. I just change the sheets when he spills out of his pull-up (about once a week, sometimes more).

Truth be told, I'm ready to stop paying for pull-ups. He is getting bigger and it is getting harder and harder to fit him in a 4T/5T. I don't even know where to go for bigger pull-ups!!

I need to read the book: 

Seven Steps to Nighttime Dryness by Renee Mercer

I've had it for a few months! Bad Mommy!

I'll blog as I go along on this journey.